Inside

As I continue to grow, I have noticed that more and more of my decision making, thoughts, analytics, and conversations go on inside of my own head. I have found less need to speak outloud to others what I am able to understand and figure out on my own. I find that I am the only answer to any and all of my life's questions, so it does no good for me to speak them out loud to manifest them into reality. I want everything that comes from my lips to be pure and thought through. Rather than venting about my inner most ego issues and looking back knowing there was no need for it.

In this transformation of self, I notice it confuses others, or leads them to believe I am upset when I choose to be alone or quiet. This way of behaving used to confuse me too, I used to wonder why people spent time alone, or what was wrong when someone decided to stay so quiet. I do agree that conversations and interactions are fun and worth while, but I don't believe that EVERY conversation and interaction is worth while. With this being said, I choose to stay in conversations and interactions that allow me to stay in Spirit, at this point, mostly spending time on my own or with my closest loved ones is the way I can achieve this goal.

More and more it becomes easier to stay within myself and interact from a soul level, but my goal is to be able to do this always. Until I have achieved this goal I will stick to my path in the timing that I am meant to take it. Have any of you noticed yourselves feeling as if you don't want to be involved in certain conversations or be around certain negative energy? This is GOOD, this is a moment of being aware. Awareness is a gradual thing, in my experience, and it tends to get stronger the more I come to understand how it works. If I can simply remove myself from interactions that involve ego and pride, I can avoid allowing those attitudes to rub off on me. I do think that this is an important step in becoming completely at peace internally as well as externally.

There is a multitude of things that run through my brain on a daily basis and most in which have to do with following my goals in this lifetime. I realize there are many things that I cannot control in this world and it is all apart of the learning experience we are having as Human Beings on Earth. Every journey is a different one and no one can understand your own journey the way you can. Remembering this and learning to understand that your journey is YOUR OWN, will help build compassion and tolerance for others around us. When we are walking down our own paths, we are doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing. When we stray from our path and try to jump on to someone else's, not only do we throw them off of their route, we are now behind on ours. Anytime we become worried or controlling over someone else, we are lost on their path and our path becomes neglected, why would we ever want to leave our own paths? In this lifetime, we only get one. Cherish it, and follow it steadfastly.

Yesterday my heart and soul were SCREAMING for me to get lost in nature. A couple friends and I drove up the mountain and landed ourselves in one of the most beautiful places I have seen yet. Blue Lake in Ward, CO. We did a 6 mile hike in perfect weather and on our way down we got to watch the sun setting. The entire hike, I was following my own path. The people I was with were following their own as well. There was no point in time when one of us tried to cut the other off, or tried to make someone slow down, in fact, we didn't pay much attention to each other at all. We were focused on our next step, completely in the moment. This is an analogy of how I want to live my life. In my own lane, on my own path.

So far I have been fortunate enough to have some people's life paths running parallel to mine, and those people I consider to have lived past lives with. I am grateful for those parallel paths because they help motivate me and keep me on mine. One day, I do believe all of our paths could run parallel, and all it takes is staying inside our own.

I encourage you to try not to take someone else's journey personally. Even if you feel offended, or hurt by someone's lack of interest in you, if they don't speak to you, or whatever it is you are thinking they are feeling about you, try to remember; it is most likely not about you. Your journey is the only one that is all about you. In the most sincere way, I encourage you to remember that no one's life or world is revolved around you except your own. And if someone is revolving their world around you, I encourage you to ask them to stop. Unconditional love is telling someone to focus on themselves rather than anyone else. If I ask of you to not focus so much on me, and focus more on yourself, I am asking you this out of a place of pure love. Take it as love instead of dismissal. I am essentially asking you to love yourself first, and that is the best thing anyone can ever ask you to do.