Lost in my mind

I get lost in my mind. I've done loads of research on the human brain and through process I've studied; male vs female brains, astrology personality readings, numerology, genetic make ups, societal impacts, all of the things that make us up as a person individually. None of it really matters in the grand scheme of things, but I find it fascinating to figure out more about the person I am supposed to be in this lifetime. I spend a lot of my time up in my head-AndiLand as I like to call it. All of this time spent in my head has lead me to writing this blog, as well as many other writings through out my lifetime. I have words written EVERYWHERE. Endless pages of handwritten thoughts, notes in my iPhone, documents in my computer, anywhere you can write, I have things written. It is an extremely important part of my soul-work to write down the things that go through my brain. I honestly don't know how I would survive if I didn't get these thoughts out somehow. The things I think about range, there are a wide variety of thoughts that go through my head on a day to day basis. And although my constant goal is to always remain positive; I would be lying if I said negative thoughts never went through my brain. In fact, I am quite good at making up stories in my head that cause me to be afraid, unworthy, and helpless. But, because I am aware that these thoughts are false and completely made up with my imagination, I am usually pretty good about snapping myself out of it, and now I can usually laugh at myself for thinking such absurd thoughts.

I always wonder though, does that ever go away fully? Are we living through a time where it is impossible to be positive and think positive 100% of the time? Would we have to go live in the forrest and become completely foreign to society in order to completely let go of all of our fears? Is it possible to live daily life without our EGOS taking over and putting false thoughts into our heads?

To be honest, I have no idea. I don't have the answers to anything in life. I type word vomit on to these pages and fill them up with ideas and words that pass through my head. Who knows if anything anyone says is actually true. It's all based off of instinct and learned habits. I know that the way I eat makes my body happy, so I continue to find ways to make my body happier and happier by eating foods that strictly grow from this Earth. I know my head and heart feel clearer and happier when I am reading uplifting books and writing, rather than watching hours of television. I now that I feel stronger when I exercise my body. These things I know because I can see physical proof of change. The things that do not have physical proof though, those things are hard to know the answers to. Will there every be a day that I won't have to be constantly shutting out my ego? I don't know.

I do know that day by day, it gets easier the more I practice positive actions in my life. I do know that I will continue to learn how to beat the negativity if I continually focus on the positive. I do know that it takes work, patience, and a whole lot of unconditional self love. I do know that being around like-minded people can help majorly boost this process. I do know that the more I focus on what makes my head and heart happy, the less I hear my ego talking.

So here it is, straight up as always, if you catch me up in my head, up in AndiLand, if I look as if I am lost in my mind, let me be. Let me stay there. Let me focus on myself. And I will let you do the same. Don't take it personally, don't sweat it, just understand, know, that when someone is contemplative- they are making decisions in their head- figuring out their next move. Make it clear to those you care about that you are there to listen, if that's the role you want to play. But,

give them space to be. We all need to learn how to work with space. Space is good. Whatever space means to you, it should never be a negative thing, give and take space when it is needed. GIVE AND TAKE SPACE.